WE ARE SPIRITS
By Eleonora of Kensington — Spiritist Writer, Legal Professional, and Survivor
There are experiences that psychology can describe, but not fully explain.
Women who have lived through domestic abuse, family court proceedings and social-care intervention often find their lives reduced to case files, risk assessments and clinical interpretations — as though their suffering were only a matter of behaviour.
My perspective is different.
As both a Spiritist writer and a legal professional with a solid background in family-law realities, I approach these stories from two vantage points: the procedural world of safeguarding and courts, and the spiritual architecture that institutions cannot see.
Although I write about Spiritist principles, my approach is not simplistic. I am, by nature, a meticulous and detail-oriented thinker — almost forensic in how I observe patterns and inconsistencies. It was precisely this precision that led me to these conclusions.
The evidence of my lived experience, the legal environment I moved through, and the consistency of the spiritual dynamics I witnessed left no space for vague or romantic interpretations.
Clarity, not comfort, is what brought me here.
And with that clarity, certain patterns became undeniable — patterns that psychology can recognise on the surface, but cannot explain at their root.
THE LIMITS OF PSYCHOLOGY AND THE DEPTH OF THE SPIRIT
Psychology can map behaviours, but it cannot explain why certain women find themselves living the same story through different men.
It cannot explain why one daughter grows into strength while another collapses, despite similar childhood environments.
And it cannot account for the persistent spiritual weight that some families carry across generations.
Spiritism does not contradict psychology. It simply recognises that human behaviour has roots that extend beyond one lifetime.
According to Spiritist understanding, many abusive relationships form within a karmic structure — not as punishment, but as part of the soul’s effort to break entrenched patterns and awaken moral intelligence.
This does not mean abuse is meant to happen, nor that a woman is at fault for the behaviour of another. It means the soul is attempting to resolve what the human personality cannot yet see.
These spiritual dynamics are subtle and often invisible to a purely clinical lens. Yet they profoundly shape the men we attract, the boundaries we tolerate, the fears we inherit, and the moments in which we finally awaken.
Spiritism gives language to these mechanisms, allowing a woman to understand not only the events, but the architecture behind the events.
And once that architecture becomes visible, a deeper question inevitably emerges: why do some women face repeated violence, even when they have done nothing to deserve it?
WHY YOU KEEP MEETING THE SAME MAN IN DIFFERENT BODIES
Some women do not experience one abusive relationship — they experience several, each with a different face, a different accent, a different story, yet the same emotional signature.
To the outside world, it may look like “choosing the wrong men” or “failing to learn”, but Spiritism explains something far more profound: you are not meeting different men. You are meeting the same wound in different bodies.
Psychology can describe this as pattern repetition. Spiritism explains why it happens.
In many lineages, cycles of harm are passed down silently — not genetically, but through spiritual memory and the emotional atmosphere into which a child is born.
A woman raised in an environment marked by fear, instability or emotional silence internalises these vibrations long before she has language for them. When she becomes an adult, her spirit gravitates — unconsciously — toward men whose wounds mirror the unresolved pain of her ancestors, her childhood, and sometimes her past incarnations.
This is not weakness. It is karmic continuity.
And it has one purpose: to bring the wound to the surface so that you, in this lifetime, can be the one who breaks it.
Women who repeat this pattern are not failing. They are performing one of the most difficult spiritual tasks: ending a cycle that those before them could not end.
Once the woman recognises the pattern — once she truly sees it — the repetition collapses at the root.
Her relationships shift. Her children’s futures shift. Her family’s karmic trajectory changes.
She becomes the first woman in her lineage to choose a different destiny.
WHY ABUSIVE MEN ARE DRAWN TO CERTAIN WOMEN
Wounded men are not drawn to every woman. They are drawn to women whose spirit holds a quality they do not possess themselves.
From a Spiritist perspective, abusive or unstable men carry unhealed fragments from childhood or previous incarnations: humiliation, abandonment, sexual trauma, emotional neglect. These wounds produce a spiritual vibration that is restless and fragile.
When such a man encounters a woman with a steady, emotionally intelligent or spiritually lucid energy, he feels an unconscious pull — not toward love, but toward containment.
Her empathy feels like refuge.
Her stability feels like safety.
Her presence feels like the antidote to the chaos he carries inside.
But because he has never known safety, he does not know how to receive it. What begins as admiration often mutates into resentment, dependency or control.
Spiritism calls this dynamic unconscious karmic displacement: the man pours his unresolved pain into the one person who mirrors what he could not develop in himself.
This is why abusive men oscillate between coldness and attachment, cruelty and guilt, distance and obsession, silence and sudden emotion.
Their behaviour is not random. It reveals a spirit in conflict with its own shadows.
This does not justify the harm they cause. It simply explains why certain women become targets for men who have never learned to manage their own wounds.
Understanding this mechanism helps a woman remove the blame from herself and recognise the spiritual nature of the dynamic — a dynamic she is not meant to endure, but to transcend.
WHY THE FAMILY COURT SYSTEM AND SOCIAL SERVICES FAIL TO SEE THIS
The family court system and social services operate within rigid procedural structures. Their work depends on evidence, timelines, thresholds, statutory duties, policy frameworks and institutional neutrality.
Within this model, agencies can observe behaviour, but they cannot interpret the spiritual dynamics that shape the behaviour.
From a safeguarding perspective, this limitation is understandable.
From a Spiritist perspective, it leaves an entire dimension unseen.
Professionals across the system — the police, CAFCASS, social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists and multi-agency teams — can document a woman’s distress, a partner’s inconsistency, a child’s fear, or a family’s instability.
But they cannot see the karmic patterns, the inherited emotional wounds, or the spiritual bonds from previous incarnations that draw certain lives together in this lifetime.
They can record a mother’s emotional collapse, but not the spiritual weight she carries.
They can report a father’s oscillation between charm and aggression, but not the unresolved inner conflict driving it.
They can register repeated partners of the same type, but not the collective karmic cycle the woman is trying to break.
This gap creates enormous misunderstanding.
A survivor may be interpreted as inconsistent, “triggered,” unstable, overly attached, unable to regulate, or difficult to assess, when in reality her spirit is confronting layers of trauma, fear, past-life bonds and generational wounds that psychology alone cannot decode.
A man may appear remorseful one day and indifferent the next — not simply as manipulation, but as the outward expression of unresolved spiritual fragmentation
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Family courts, social services, CAFCASS, the police and clinical professionals judge events.
Spiritism recognises causes.
Their frameworks assess risk.
Spiritism recognises pattern.
They protect children in the present.
Spiritism explains what began long before the present.
This does not mean the system is wrong.
It means it is incomplete.
Many survivors are not misunderstood because they lack credibility — but because they are living a story that safeguarding procedures were never designed to interpret.
Once a woman understands what the system cannot see, her clarity grows, her self-blame dissolves, and she begins to move not only out of trauma — but into meaning.
Healing is not an act of forgetting. It is an act of understanding.
When a woman recognises that her suffering was not a personal failure nor the consequence of poor judgment, but part of a spiritual and generational pattern she came to break, a profound shift begins.
Spiritism teaches that every trauma contains a hidden invitation to clarity — a moment in which the spirit awakens to what it can no longer tolerate and to what it is destined to transform.
Breaking a karmic cycle does not happen quietly.
It happens through the refusal to accept violence, the decision to protect one’s children, the courage to leave, the strength to testify, the humility to rebuild, and the clarity to never return to what the soul has outgrown.
In this process, a woman moves from victim to spiritual author of her own life.
She becomes the one who closes the pattern — for herself and for those who will come after her.
Her children inherit a different atmosphere, a different moral code, a different vibration.
The past no longer dictates the future.
The cycle breaks.
And what began as trauma becomes meaning.
DOWNLOAD THE FREE GUIDE
If this reflection resonates with your experience, or offers a clarity you were never given by the system, you can download the extended guide below.
WE ARE SPIRITS – A Spiritist Analysis of Domestic Abuse and the Family Court System
A clear, rational, non–new-age exploration of the spiritual and procedural forces that shape domestic suffering.